I met people for lunch and dinner who had severe trouble deciding for their menu. But actually, don´t we pre-decide already when we choose the restaurant? Yes we do. By choosing the restaurant we eliminate quite a few options of good food. And as a strong decider, we have to say “no” to everthing else. We select.
To not be blamed as a strong decider again, which happened already because I indirectly push my friend which produces bad feelings (his or her thoughts could be….”Oh, she is waiting for me to decide….”), I start giving friendly advice. And then I ask the ultimate question: “Say, why is it that you have decision problems?” No answer, instead silence stood up. I kept on consulting: “Are you maybe a maximizer? Do you always look for the best deal?” “Yes!”
Interestingly, my restaurant attendee doesn´t look like a “typical” maximizer at all. She isn´t dressed as a “best looking” nor is she communicating like a maximizer, like someone who is or wants to be on top. I am stunned for a moment and surprised – and a bit relieved. We just found the cause of her decision trouble!
Fact: any maximizer on earth wants the best, and is always asking the universe for the shiny, golden 100% in any deal. Just imagine: IN ANY DEAL.
Is that you? Do you feel haunted by your own requirement? Are you haunting yourself? Is it YOU who pushes yourself to reach 100%? ….. while the friendly opponent and maybe long-term friend or spouse is the one who welcomes a 90% decision. And his or her 90% decision making might “feel” like a (fast chosen) 100 % decision for you. The friend is satisfied with the current decision. Why? Because there is always a next time and next time we mostly try something else. There is no loss!
If you have really trouble as a maximizer then think about changing your behavior, because you permanently stress yourself. This happens because a potential “loss” feels double as bad as a small win makes us feel good. Again: a small win makes us feel “good” but a loss, compared, makes us feel double worse! Now imagine the consequences in your job…..
BE A DECISION MAKER. BECOME OUTSTANDING.
rita jaskolla – Leadership Architect –