The MAXimizer Is Always Haunted

I met people for lunch and dinner who had severe trouble deciding for their menu.  But actually, don´t we pre-decide already when we choose the restaurant?  Yes we do.  By choosing the restaurant we eliminate quite a few options of good food. And as a strong decider, we have to say “no” to everthing else.  We select.

To not be blamed as a strong decider again, which happened already because I indirectly push my friend which produces bad feelings (his or her thoughts could be….”Oh, she is waiting for me to decide….”), I start giving friendly advice.  And then I ask the ultimate question: “Say, why is it that you have decision problems?”  No answer, instead silence stood up.  I kept on consulting: “Are you maybe a maximizer?  Do you always look for the best deal?” “Yes!”

OMG!

Interestingly, my restaurant attendee doesn´t look like a “typical” maximizer at all.  She isn´t dressed as a “best looking” nor is she communicating like a maximizer, like someone who is or wants to be on top.  I am stunned for a moment and surprised – and a bit relieved.  We just found the cause of her decision trouble!

Fact:  any maximizer on earth wants the best, and is always asking the universe for the shiny, golden 100% in any deal.  Just imagine:  IN ANY DEAL.

Is that you?  Do you feel haunted by your own requirement?  Are you haunting yourself?  Is it YOU who pushes yourself to reach 100%?   ….. while the friendly opponent and maybe long-term friend or spouse is the one who welcomes a 90% decision.  And his or her 90% decision making might “feel” like a (fast chosen) 100 % decision for you.  The friend is satisfied with the current decision.  Why?  Because there is always a next time and next time we mostly try something else.  There is no loss!

If you have really trouble as a maximizer then think about changing your behavior, because you permanently stress yourself.  This happens because a potential “loss” feels double as bad as a small win makes us feel good.  Again:  a small win makes us feel “good” but a loss, compared, makes us feel double worse!  Now imagine the consequences in your job…..

BE A DECISION MAKER.  BECOME OUTSTANDING.

rita jaskolla – Leadership Architect –