Lately a friend called and asked for my advice.
It was in terms of a decision which will change the future, as so many decisions do, hopefully for the better but also with a potential loss. Something wasn´t quite clear …. because people normally don´t speak about their decision making so openly.
FRIEND: “Listen, I choose this because of the consequences! I want to go into “this” new direction now because it will make me feel more home – but I will have to let go of my goal. It was wonderful and really worth trying but I think it´s rather unreal for my life by now. Trying took too long for me!”
riTA: “What happened? Why do you turn around now?”
FRIEND: “I wanted this goal so badly but life wasn´t leading directly to a result.”
riTA: “What is the consequence now for you? What will you do differently from tomorrow on? What implication is now on your plan to get away from the old aim? Is there any pressure?”
FRIEND: “It´s nothing extraordinary nor truly relevant, you know, it´s just that the daily meetings are cancelled now and it´s like a gift to me, because I have a worthy gap on my agenda ….. which I can fill with new things!”
riTA: “But you know that cancelling those integrated meetings is a passive tradeoff, because you don´t take over another alternative – aren´t you looking for a new, similar goal now in that category?”
FRIEND: “No! Not anymore! I prefer the positive consequence of extra time for a new project or free time, which this decision result will deliver and …. I admit, I plan to give up on the old goal. I think for a while ….. to see how new ideas or things are going to develop from it!”
riTA: “Exactly, giving-up sacrifices tradeoffs and you only have to deal with the positive consequence now, that´s good! Sounds like a good decision to me because you sound so happy! And there´s no negative consequence involved!”
FRIEND: “Yes, I chose to trade the loss of the goal for free time which is for ….. some relaxing and thinking, at least in the beginning! I think it´s going to be a good change for me. It was time to do something about the failure. I did everything to reach a success and it did not work. It was frustrating and time to let go.”
NOTE: when the consequence to give up on a certain attractive goal – after a long time – is rather positive for you, think about it! Sometimes you can work on something which will never materialize in your life although it seems so close to you, then – decide to close the book.
BE A DECISION MAKER. BECOME OUTSTANDING.
rita jaskolla – Leadership Architect –